“I alone can fix it!!” And with those five words Donald Trump proclaimed that he single-handedly will fix a “scary”, “violent” and “weak” United States. In this insane election season anything can happen and if we wind up with President Trump, get ready for millions of Americans to make plans to flee north to Canada or south to Mexico. But, what if Canada decides to bar gun-infatuated violent Americans from invading its country? As Trump can’t stop repeating, “There’s something going on”. Yep, there’s something going on with Americans committing mass murder. Canada may not want gun-toting Americans invading their relatively peaceful land. On the other hand, Mexico may not want Americans invading their country and taking jobs away from its citizens. Plus, good luck getting through that wall Mexico is going to build.
With that noted, I present you with some interesting alternatives to Canada and Mexico:
Iceland: This Nordic Island nation has a lot to offer, including a humanitarian permit! One of the grounds for the humanitarian permit is onerous social conditions in his/her home country. Trump = onerous. Dealing with Trump’s oppressive fascist proposals seems to be onerous enough. So, keep Iceland in mind. Oh yeah, if the humanitarian basis doesn’t work out, you can always consider a residence permit as an au pair.
Costa Rica: In 2010, radio buffoon Rush Limbaugh got millions of U.S. citizens’ hopes up by threatening to leave for Costa Rica if Obamacare passed and became law. More than 6 years later, we are still stuck with him. It made me wonder, why Costa Rica? After some research I found out that it is a good place for retirees to live, but you probably need a pension or social security to live their permanently. As for the rest of you, I guess you’ll have to consider living somewhere else.
U.S. Territories: Don’t forget about Guam, Puerto Rico, Northern Mariana Islands, the U.S. Virgin Islands and American Samoa. I’m sure that they won’t be thrilled with the prospect of a bunch of fleeing Americans showing up at their doorsteps. But, at least you’ll have a nice beach to camp out on.
The moon: Sorry folks, Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic project is not off the ground yet. Plus, it will cost a fortune to sign up for. But, maybe the moon will someday be a place where we can convince Trump and his supporters to go live. If we’re lucky we could convince the Trumps, the Kardashians and other obnoxiously wealthy people to colonize another planet.
Some of you luckier SOB’s have dual citizenship and an easier path to escaping a Trump regime. For the rest of us, good luck. And if all else fails, stock up on Ramen noodles, hide in your bathrooms and count the days until it ends. It’s only four years! Right?